We’ve all known them, and if we’re honest with ourselves, at least myself, we’ve probably been the “mean girl” once or twice in our lives. (Yes, to anyone reading this that I was mean to, I am truly sorry!) What brings this all up you might ask? I was getting my daily facebook fix one day this week and saw a post by a younger friend who has junior high/high school girls. She was lamenting the drama that comes with girls this age. From the posts that came after the initial one, she is not alone. Many mothers told of the same experiences with their daughters and tried to console her, as I did.
Boy, do I remember this! Not only from personal experience, but as a mom of a daughter. When the “mean girl” phase begins for your daughter, in about 7th grade, it not only takes you back to your life in junior high, but makes you want to lash out at the little snots that are making your daughter’s life such hell! You want to be a “mean mom”, but you don’t. Now, I may being dramatic, but when you are this age and the friends that you’ve had since you were in first grade suddenly turn on you, it does leave you a little baffled! I still wonder what happens that begins the process where one girl suddenly convinces the rest of the click to not talk to so and so. What is this all about?
Even though it’s hard on you as a 7th grader, it is twice as hard on you as a mom of a 7th grader. I’ve tried to explain this to my daughter, but I don’t think you actually “get it” until it happens to you. The hurt that happens to your child always hurts you as the parent twice as much as it does the child. As a mom, of course you want the best for your child, which includes good friends and no drama. The funny thing is that while you are still all revved up about the “mean girls” not inviting your daughter to a party, she has forgotten all about it and is off having fun with her other friends, the ones who actually will be her friends for life.
That’s the thing. It starts in junior high, but continues throughout your life. You wouldn’t think it would be so, but the drama continues even as an adult. You end up having friends from first grade that are friends for life, and those “mean girls” that you wanted so badly to be your friends, really weren’t your friends in the first place. They get left behind, which is a really good thing. And hopefully, as an adult you can avoid the drama as much as possible.
This whole conversation is making my heart beat to fast. Thank God I don’t have to be in junior high ever again!!